"If you gave your inner genius as much credence as your inner critic, you would be light years ahead of where you now stand."
I just love this quote! It really does challenge us to think how much more we would achieve if we weren’t always listening to that Inner Critic or Judge telling us how terrible or inept we are!!
The toll it takes is HUGE! Our Resilience is depleted as we stay on the hamster wheel of negative thinking. Anxiety and fear are directly connected with our negative thinking which comes from that Inner Critic.
In this issue, I want to explore the misplaced ‘allegiance’ and trust we seem to place in our Judge - and the antidote that Empathy can provide.
We will look at:
- Tips and strategies to quiet that noisy internal critic!
- How to tap into Empathy to really Empower Ourselves!
🗓️ And be sure to check out my invitation below to join me for a Complimentary Masterclass on July 12th.
All the best!
P.S. Want to talk more about positive self talk and how it might impact your life?
Click here to schedule a Chat to Start!
Let's talk about the Judge
You may be thinking... "Doesn’t my Judge motivate me to do better?" Or “If I don’t feel bad about mistakes that I make, I won’t learn from them and will probably just repeat them.”
Shirzad Chamine, author of Positive Intelligence® questions the value we seem to place on negative emotions - comparing them to putting our hand on a hot stove.
For a split second the negative sensation warns us of danger and we quickly pull away to relieve the pain. Yet, when it comes to our Judge (and other Saboteurs) we keep our "hand on the stove" and allow them to continually beat us up and replay our disappointments and fears over and over! We don’t seem to have an off switch!
Shirzad says that "Disappointment over a setback or mistake is only useful for about 10 seconds until you switch to curiosity about how to learn from it."
Learn to recognise the voice of your Judge! This is a necessary first step to stop the spiral of negative thoughts, feelings of self criticism, and negative self-talk which affect our behaviour for the worse.
📍Tool from Positive Intelligence®
When you find yourself in a negative feeling or reaction for more than the informative 10 seconds try this:
Pause. Ask yourself if you’ve already heard this message and if there is any value in staying in this reaction.
Laugh at your Judge and say, “I’ve got it and I’m on it. Now get out of my way!”
Take your hand off the hot stove of life’s challenges. You’ll see how much easier life instantly becomes.
Empathy is the Antidote to the Judge!
Empathy is one of the Sage Powers in Positive Intelligence®. It ‘lives’ in our brain in a wonderful cluster of compassion, forgiveness and gratitude.
Simply put, the Judge operates from Fear while Empathy and the other Sage Powers operate from Love.
Maria Shriver says: "Self-empathy is the acknowledgment that, like all human beings, you deserve understanding and compassion. To truly practice self-empathy to its fullest, you must be willing to use it even when you trip over your own feet and make mistakes that leave you feeling embarrassed or wishing you had stayed home."
📍4 Ways to Be Kinder to Yourself and Build Self-Empathy
Talk to yourself like you talk to your friends. If you wouldn't say it to your best friend, don't say it to yourself!
Practice mindfulness to eliminate self-judgment.
Forgive yourself - no one is perfect.
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
Empowering Women Leaders: 4 Key Strategies for Overcoming SELF-DOUBT and Achieving Success
12:00 pm ET | 5pm GMT
Join my 90 minute, interactive masterclass to learn the 4 Pillars
- Transform your self-care into active practice.
- Make a mindset shift from doubt to self belief.
- Create boundaries and communicate effectively.
- Accomplish more with ease!
Click here to find helpful resources including podcasts, articles and more!
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