“People's beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities. Ability is not a fixed property; there is a huge variability in how you perform.
People who have a sense of self-efficacy bounce back from failure; they approach things in terms of how to handle them rather than worrying about what can go wrong.”
Have you ever...
Come close to a big win and felt your confidence erode as your thoughts became doubtful and negative?
Experienced the 'slippery slope' of self-doubt when you considered a career or personal move you wanted to make?
Experienced a mood swing - changing from belief to doubt - in seconds or minutes?
Felt physically sick about an upcoming presentation, interview or important conversation?
I certainly have experienced all of the above (!) And at different times it has been costly to me.
I have learned from my life experience - and research - that we can influence the outcomes and learn to recover quickly when we get knocked..
In my last newsletter, I talked about the need to let go of what's holding us back before we can really move on. That seems to have struck a chord with many of you and people are finding the Self Care planning tool useful. If you didn't get it here it is now.
One thing I know to be true is...
Self Care is essential for growth and well being and I see each of my clients begin to make the positive changes they want when they increase their level of self care.
Now, I want to pose the question I often put to my coaching clients...
What would it be like to really believe in yourself??
This question is at the core of my Coaching Practice and to support my clients on their journeys I've developed my 4 Pillar approach
Over the next several newsletters I am going to take you through the 4 Pillars and the benefits you can get from each.
In this issue, I'll explore how the First Pillar: Act With Care, as well as investing in your Self Care will boost your self belief and self efficacy.
This pillar is the first and most important step to take to begin to really believe in yourself. We need our inner resources to be strong and self care is the way to do it. It is the basis of the self-efficacy Bandura speaks of.
Self-belief means that you should have enough self-confidence to change, but not over-estimate your abilities, as that could lead to a fixed instead of a growth mindset attitude. You should be willing to grow and adapt but still have ideas about your strengths and weaknesses so that you can work on the challenging areas.
All the best!
PILLAR 1: ACT WITH CARE
We need to make our own Self Care a priority!
This is not an optional thing we might do ‘when we have time’. It is essential in order to be our best selves and to be there for others the way we want to be.
- Has the fear of cultivating our own 'well being’ actually created a block to just doing for ourselves what we’re encouraging our team and colleagues to do for themselves?
- Is our Inner Critic so strong that he/she tells us it’s wrong to take time for ourselves?
Doesn’t it sound a bit mixed up??!! No wonder we feel overwhelmed so often!!
I know I've shared this picture before - of the flight attendant instructing adult passengers to ‘put on your own oxygen mask first’!
To me that instruction sums up the importance of Self Care.
How do we imagine that we will be helpful and supportive to those we care about if we neglect ourselves and let our resources be depleted? It just doesn’t make sense!
Here's a few suggestions for Acting with Care
1. Create a healthy morning routine for yourself - perhaps meditation and exercise as a start.
2. Self care means getting the sleep you need and knowing how to rest.
3. Self care means being conscious of our food and eating more mindfully.
4. Self care means taking breaks to revive throughout your day, not just when you leave work. Take a conscious minute or two to breathe; stand and stretch; have a hot or cold drink and even put on some music and dance(!).
5. Self care can mean being more assertive and asking for what we need. We may need to be assertive when something - or someone - is creating stress for us. Ask and you may well receive!
6. Self care means identifying what you enjoy doing and what's fun for you and make a serious effort to integrate it into your day or, at the very least, your week. Do what you enjoy and what brings you joy! Life brings us many challenges and there is so much in our current world that upsets us. We need to balance the sadness with optimism and fun.
7. And last but not least... be conscious of your thoughts. The words we say to ourselves shape our attention, which controls our emotions, and the result is confidence – or lack of it.
This month's challenge is 'easy peasy'!!
For the next 30 days take time each day to do something nice for yourself. Put time aside each and every day to do something you enjoy and find relaxing. It may only be 10 or 15 minutes to start with but the consistency of putting yourself first for these few minutes will pay dividends. We are so used to putting everyone else first but now it's time to 'put the oxygen mask on ourselves first'!
Schedule some small piece of fun, relaxation, and/or enjoyment into your daily routine. With consistent practice, it will become a natural part of your life.
As I wrap up here's another good quote from Bandura!
"Self-belief does not necessarily ensure success, but self-disbelief assuredly spawns failure."
Click here to find helpful resources including podcasts, articles and more!
Connect with me
To learn more, visit my website, Kathleen Fanning Coaching - Invest in Yourself here:
You can also email me directly: firstname.lastname@example.org